This afternoon I was moping that today had been a hard day. I was all prepared to complain to Ethan when he got home from work and tell him how rough it was, like it would make me feel better.
I got up to nurse at 4:30 this morning and oddly could not fall back asleep. The day started well enough otherwise, with Philomena and Zelie in good moods, and lots of housework being accomplished. Then Philomena woke up from her nap after only half an hour. She was in a terrible mood and wanted to nurse, which she did for a bit, but then I needed to move on with our day. She melted down as toddlers do, but I had never seen her this upset before. It was her first true meltdown. I loved on her through all these big feelings, but I was so annoyed interiorly.
Then the 4:30 am wake up caught up with me. I made a mess with my coffee, sprinkles of carrot juice in our bed were later joined by a strawberry/beet juice, topped off by a bowl with cut up salmon sandwich scattered on the sheets… don’t ask.
I don’t bring this up to complain, but because I remembered something today.
Sometimes I think of sanctity as this far off thing. I see others carrying really heavy crosses so patiently around me and wonder when my big chance will come to become a saint.
But this is it.
These little crosses, and annoyances, and tired burning eyes, and needing to throw the sheets in the laundry at 4:30 in the afternoon when I was so glad to have the laundry caught up… this is God asking me to embrace the Cross right now. Big things may be asked of me later, but right now, these are the opportunities I have to sanctify the day. I shouldn’t begrudgingly deal with these small burdens, but truly thank Jesus for the chance during my easy, cushy life to have sacrifices to unite with Him. I should not just carry my small crosses, but embrace them.
I don’t mean to sound preachy, and I realize these are not big revelations. But I am thick headed. I forget this so often. I hope this helps another mom out during those annoying little moments today. At the very least I can reread it whenever I need to remember that my vocation calls me to sancity every day, in the little things.
I am going to go start that laundry now.