Am I Enough + Litany of Humility

+J.M.J.+

Something that I really struggle with interiorly is worrying if I am enough to others; enough of pretty much anything.

I do know I am never holy “enough”. I remember a great FSSP priest at a Lenten mission years ago saying that you can never stand still spiritually. We are either becoming holier and loving God more, or we are decreasing in our spiritual life; it can never be stagnant. So I know I am never holy enough, because I am always either moving closer to God or further away from Him.

This is a good thing to know, though, because it should motivate us each day to pursue sanctity and strengthen our prayer life. (This is an area where my husband inspires me with his fervent daily conversation with God in mental prayer. I need to follow him better in this area.)

But what about being enough in other ways? I asked Ethan when I registered the domain of this blog, “Am I natural enough to be called the Natural Catholic Mom?”

It’s true that some people would look at me and think that I am awfully natural. I have birthed both of my girls at home with midwives, I cloth diaper, tandem nurse my newborn and a toddler, cook almost everything we eat from scratch using organic ingredients, use holistic remedies first before turning to conventional medicine, and am always interested in cleaning up our lives more from the toxic world around us.

However, to someone who is conscious to live naturally, they would be able to fairly say I am NOT natural enough. We are known to eat at Chick-Fil-A on occasion, some of the lotions and cleaners in our home have chemicals I know are bad, we use our microwave way more than I would like to admit, we eat less than ideal dairy and meat often times, and, man, if that wifi signal isn’t always on in our home.

When I asked my husband if I was “enough” to use the name… I was worried because I knew full well that to plenty of people, the answer is, “no.” In my pride I want to be enough for everyone and for them to think well of me.

This was a good reminder for me return to the Litany of Humility by Cardinal Rafael Merry del Val, which I have fallen out of the habit of praying. You can find more about him here on wikipedia, or this incredibly in-depth series here on Rorate Caeli, and I have reprinted his beautiful Litany of Humility at the end of this post.

I’m not going to take this where the world would tell me to, though. When the world says to not care what other people think, it is usually used to make one feel better about not caring what God thinks.

I am reminded of a wonderful quote by one of my favorite saints:

Do not try to please everybody. Try to please God, the angels, and the saints. They are your public” ~ St. John Vianney

So I am probably not enough in many ways for plenty of people, and that’s ok. I should still keep working towards the natural goals I have for our family because they are what I believe are the best choices for our bodies, which are temples of the Holy Ghost. However, the opinions of whether I am doing enough in the eyes of my peers should not concern me. It is God I should be seeking to do well for. His opinion is the one that matters, and that should be enough for me.

~The Litany of Humility~

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,
Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged,
Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, O Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinon of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.