I Need Some Accountability

+J.M.J.+

Is anyone one else just craving a change and a new start as we approach the new year?

Ethan and I always say that we are going to enjoy the two big meals at my parents’ house at Christmas and then not endlessly eat carb-heavy leftovers and the millions of sweets around the house all week while we are there… and we never follow through.

So now I feel all bloated and icky, and this frustrates me even more because I didn’t just fall off the bandwagon of eating healthy for a week of celebratory indulgence…

I was doing *awesome* with my eating and weight after Zelie was born, but somewhere in the mix things with sweets got off.

See, we came to this amazing milestone at the end of August of Philomena going to sleep on her own; no fussing, no nursing, no rocking or walking with daddy…. she just goes and lays down, and she is in her room asleep at 7 p.m. Yeah, you read that right, 7 p.m.!

For the first time in a long time our evenings were our own. Ethan and I could read in peace, VidAngel was back with cleaned up t.v., and we kind of treated these new early nights without the toddler like a party.

Along with our newfound freedom I got into a very bad habit of eating sweets at night… it started off small, like adding chocolate chips into a bowl of homemade trail mix. It then grew into having way too big of bowls of Trader Joes chocolate cereal, and making too many chocolate cakes.

No matter how well I eat all day long, I do way better with my nighttime eating habits when I work out during the day. There is something in my head that just becomes like a super woman with resisting junk when I regularly exercise. But when I started working out in September when Zelie was 2.5 months old, my body made it clear via some bleeding that it was still just too soon to do my simple walking workouts.

Not being able to do my exercise videos, combined with my night time lets-party-because-the-two-year-old-is-asleep-and-a-little-treat-won’t-hurt mentality lead me to gain over 20 pounds this fall. I am not worried about looking like some super model, but I would like to get back to feeling more energetic, in shape, and simply comfortable in my skin, which I just don’t once I get to a certain weight.

I want to get back to my old standby of only having sweets on Sunday and special occasions. I need to sugar detox from all these little treats that are so addicting. I truly do eat so well all day long, but I need to carry that in to the evenings, and not undo my good days with late night treats.

Food has always been, and I suspect will always be, the main area of temptation in my life that I need to work on temperance with.

So, for some accountability, I’m posting this (I am sure to Ethan’s horror), and going to update quickly once a month until I am back to feeling fit and in control of sweets again.

Do you struggle with this stuff, too? I’d love to hear from you about how you get back on track. If you have any health goals, comment below and let’s check in together in a few weeks!